Are you a family member or a friend of a veteran?
My husband served and just received disability for his diagnosis of PTSD and some other physical issues. We have been through so much since he came home. Readjustment seemed impossible for him because a different person came home to me than the person that left. Trying to understand what was happening at the time was hard and there was no resource like this to help. But everyday is a new day to cope with the condition and it will help so much to be able to talk to people that understand the everyday frustrations of being the loved one and knowing that there is only so much you can do.
I have several friends that were deployed and they are all struggling with their things too.
Dawn
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My brother was in VietNamn, when he returned home there was no parade,just his family to greet him. Also my brother in law was in VietNamn DaNang Pleiku. They both are still suffering to this day,but are so proud of the men in this war. God Bless you in your troubled time's,and try to just turn everything over to God.
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Hey there!
This is my first time posting here, and have been a member of the site for sometime. Thanks Paul for all you have done for our vets.
I am a spouse of a Vet (former ....served from 2000-2004) who served a year in Iraq beginning January 2003.
We are a young couple ages 26 & 27.....only married for 3 yrs when he left for Iraq and is still married, 8 yrs total now....going strong :)
I just wanted to say that I am a HUGE supporter of our Veterans. There is not a day goes by that I dont think of their courage ans sacrifices. I have been doing alot on a local level to support our troops.... (as I do not live in a military town anymore so I have found it more difficult than living IN a military town to get the support.... but hey i think we are doing a fine job non- the less!)
Just wanted to come by & introduce myself....
Look foward to posting here! :)
Melissa
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The government doesn't want to open the can of worms when it comes to vets with ptsd. they just want us with it to go away. because they have used us to do their dirty work and then they want us to just disappear. I am the son of a vietnam vetearn and also a vetearn myself. I was in during a "peacetime" era. But to me they train vets to do their work for them. And then drift into the woodwork and shut up about what and where we did their dirty work don't get me wrong in still wish I in the service. And I pray for the vets that are coming home now. and hope they get the help they need. Because they deserve it but you have to beat the drum real hard to get the help. Then they put on meds to try to keep you quite. And hope that you don't figure out what they are trying to do. They had me on heavy doses of thorazine and other heavy meds.Which put me in a stupper most of the time. Till I run out one time and my head started to clear and I started to figure things out. And started talking to other older vets from vietnam, and found out that they did the samething to them too. Now I am seeing a counselor that isn't connected with the VA. So god bless our vets and don't let them forget what you have done for the government. And make them help your loved ones. My dad died from cancer assocated with agent orange. Before they connected it with the spraying that went on in vietnam.
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My son is an Iraq war vet and has been in treatment at the VA for severe PTSD for almost two years now. He was in the Army for 8 years, two of which were served in Iraq. After his discharge he went through a divorce and found out that one of his sons is autistic.(All within a month after returning from Iraq and getting out of the Army!) He had Iraq nightmares, withdrew from family, drank, was jumpy, hyper-vigilant, and more. He seemed to have every single symptom of PTSD. He tried to commit suicide last year and was in the VA hospital for a while. In July he went off of the deep end and rammed his arms through a glass window and cut his arms to shreds in a fit of rage. He had experienced a real series of “stressors, because his grandmother, who he loved dearly, died, and a week before that he found some guy behind an abandoned building that had been assaulted and he watched him bleed to death. (He told me that this disturbed him a lot and brought back Iraq memories) The police had to come and take him to the hospital, but they never reported this incident to the V.A. I told the V.A. before this, that he was a not well, and they wouldn’t take me seriously. I wrote my congressmen and V.A. about the substandard care he was getting from his therapist and begged for help. An investigation was done by the V.A. and all I got was a call from his social worker who was obviously agitated, telling me that she was aware I had alerted the V.A. about my sons care, and that she was required to call and tell me she was trying to help him. The day that he rammed his arms through the glass, I left his therapist three messages telling her my son had done this, and that she needed to call me because I had some things to tell her. Things that my son had said and done, that I am sure she was unaware of. (Like building bunkers in the yard, running to the door with a gun whenever anyone came up the driveway, setting his bedroom up exactly like the little room he slept in while in Iraq, and many more) She never returned my calls. He was in her office the day after he cut his arms, and she didn’t see that he was on the verge of a meltdown. After his arrest she finally spoke with me briefly and said she thought he seemed fine that day. What did she need to see other than the bandages on his arms? A bullet hole in his head? A dead body somewhere? About two weeks later my son was coming home from eating out with his girlfriend, and they had stopped to let some tourists cross the road. Some idiot in the car behind then started honking his horn and yelling at them. He followed them to the next intersection and continued to harass. My son freaked out and showed the guy his gun when he pulled up beside him. At one point my son and girlfriend got out of the car and asked the man to leave them alone. That made the man in the other car even more mad, and he continued to stalk them for several blocks more. My son did what he was programmed to do and snapped into his survival mode. He shot his gun out of the window, in the air, to ward the guy off. Someone called the police who chased my son to his house, and arrested him. He now sits in the jail awaiting a trial for two counts of aggravated assault and one of firing a gun from a vehicle. In the state that he is in that carried mandatory minimum sentences of more than 20 years in prison. He has a 250,000 dollar bond, so he can’t get out and continue to get help.(it was originally set at one million) I called his VA caseworker and she finally decided to talk to me (after it was too late) She said that she didn’t return my calls in the past because of privacy laws. I had already discussed "privacy laws" with her before and she knew that I already understood that she could not discuss my son’s case with me, but she could listen to what I had to say. (A good caseworker would have been truly interested in hearing input from close family members) I told her that my son was in jail and she said she was sorry! I told her that if she had returned my calls I would have told her that my son was about to snap and she would have learned of things that my son had said and done that he had told only me. I asked her why they could not have put him back in the hospital after the last rage incident, and she said she though that he was fine, and even if she thought he needed to be there, she could not force him to go unless she thought that he was going to harm himself or someone else. I think that putting your arms through glass constitutes an effort of harming ones self doesn’t it? She also told me that she would no longer be able to see my son nor anyone at the VA because he was now incarcerated. So they ignored my obvious cries for help and kicked my son to the curb when he finally went off of the deep end. My son was failed by the government and the V.A. It wasn’t like he was out there not getting help. He went to the V.A. every week. He was taking care of his 85 year old grandpa, and taking college classes. Now he is looking at spending the best years of his life in jail. This is how we treat our vets. I have cried every day until I cannot cry anymore. His and my life will never be the same. I have done all I could do to help him and cried out for help so many times and I was ignored. This is so unfair. I feel so sorry for his two little boys who will miss him. He has been in jail for 6 months now, and the jail has not provided him with any mental health counseling. They won’t even give him the meds that the VA was prescribing before his incarceration. He has told me once that he was ready to hang himself. His pre trial hearing doesn’t come up until January. He needs to be in treatment, not jail. My son was a totally different person before PTSD, and I know he could be that person if he could get some decent treatment. If he stays I jail for much longer, he may get beyond the point of return. The state of Florida and our Veterans administration just seem to want to sweep my son under the rug, I just don’t know what else to do but write my congressmen and pray. Currently under the state of Florida’s 10-10-20 laws, my son can be incarcerated for up to 40 years. Is this the way to treat a veteran who just returned from war and eight years of serving his country? I am now researching how many of our soldiers are returning from war and getting into the same situation as my son’s. The numbers are incredible, and this country needs to be made aware of what is going on. I am currently working on getting this issue out in the open so positive change can be made on behalf of our warriors that we owe so much to. I am looking for as much support as we can get so this never has to happen again. Please join me in my fight to pay our soldiers and veterans back for the selfless service and freedoms that they gave us. We need to rally our congressmen for better treatment at the VA and jail diversion programs for our returning wounded warriors.
Jamie Keyes
"The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive veterans of early wars were treated and appreciated by our nation."
- George Washington
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Hey I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry to hear about your son it is very unfortunate the way our nations finest young men and women are being treated, I wish the best of luck to you, your family and your son. I will continue to fight for our veterans rights, we should be honoring them everyday stories like your sons story should not be happening, I believe our veterans should get the nations best health care and treatment they deserve the best for what they do and have had to do to keep this nation the way that it is right now. I have a group on facebook if you are interested in joining it its called
Veterans With PTSD, here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=37689192833
Also here are some other links you might be interested in
Soldiers Heart Organization by best-selling author Edward Tick
http://www.soldiersheart.net/
and the National Center for PTSD:
http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/index.jsp
I hope that they helped, if you give me the name of your congressman I would love to write him I write congressman for veterans all over the United States, I just recently wrote one in Oregon and one in South Texas let me know
I wish the best to you and your son
Sincerely Dana Davis
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I am a Vietnam Vet, served on a River Patrol Boat in the DMZ...it is refreshing to see that we have redirected our outrage at questionable conflicts to the source rather than the men & women forced into such servitude. When I returned, I was cursed, spit on called names I won't repeat, as if the conflict was all due to the troops. Thank God people have opened their eyes and treat the returning warriors as heroes, no matter what the nature of the conflict. They were and are heroes!
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I am a disabled veteran, from the 1st gulf war. No, I didn't get to serve over seas as an Active U.S. Army soldier, but I did become injured while serving. If it wasn't for my husbands employment with the Federal Government as a civilian, I wouldn't have been able to have medical coverage to help me with my 2 crushed discs. I understand the pains of dealing with the VA regarding just prescribing medications and putting aside the problems to the next visit. In the San Diego VA, they usually have intern students dealing with veterans, so the health care isn't the greatest.
Currently I am waiting to see when I can have surgery on my back, since my discs are bulging into my spinal cord. At the rate they are helping the war veterans, I may have to once again, rely on my Federal Employee medical benefits. Thank God for the Civilian Federal Employee medical benefits!
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My granddaughter is station at Fort Riley Kansas,her name is Karen Lund. She is a E2Military Police. We are so proud of her. She graduated from Fort Leonardwood Mo. 3rd in her class. The military has made a real woman out of her. She stand's strong now with pride. God Bless all of our soilder's where ever they may be.
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my bf served in the air force in Iraq and Afghanistan and suffers from PTSD. He has insomnia and flashbacks and pretty much everything else that goes along with it. Can anyone give me any advice on how i can help him?
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I am in a similar situation. Started talking to my boyfriend when he was in Iraq and started dating him after a month and a half after he returned. Everything seemed great and then it hit like a brick wall...I am at a loss...sometimes I feel so pushed away I wonder if it's worth it. Deep down I know it is...have no question in my mind...see so much good in his life and care way too much to just walk away. But it's hard. I constantly wonder if I'm doing the right thing because I feel alone. Don't have the person that I want most in my life...he's emotionally unavailable. Bottom line comes down to I care enough about him to stick through these difficult times because I believe in him and I believe in us. It's hard because I don't have anyone going through a similar situation...no one that really understands what it's like. My friends just say to walk away from it. Of course there are times that it's hard and that's just what I want to do but I can't. Because when you care about someone so much you can't just walk away. I'd love advice on how I can be there for him or just someone to talk to. Would love to have someone to talk to... seholmj@aol.com
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When my husband started getting treatment for PTSD I did alot of research on the subject. The one resource that helped me and my husband the most was a book that was recommended by his therapist (who is also a psych professor). The book is called "Courage After Fire" and it was written by Keith Armstrong L.C.S.W./Suzanne Best, Ph.D./Paula Domenici Ph.D.
Reading about this subject helped me understand two things. 1. There are things he is never ever going to tell me or share with me because I would never ever be able to understand them, and I need to be ok with that. 2. He needs to talk to someone about it. Look into groups at your local Vet Center, look into them at your VA. If they don't exist, push for them to be formed. You can't fix this and neither can they. This is something that they need to learn to live with and we need to be patient with them while they do.
This disorder can change the chemistry of the brain and make life an entirely different place for all of us. Take care of yourself too, many times we are the ones that they depend on even if they can not verbalize it to us. Get therapy for yourself, or come here and talk to us. We understand.
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Get him to a Vet Center. They will be able to direct him from there and may even be able to help you with anything you don't understand about what he is going through. Understanding is the first step.
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My son is a veteran of the war in the Middle East and he suffers from PTSD (fancy that, and who doesn't coming out of that situation?). The army has perscribed drug after drug to help him with the pain in his joints and the PTSD. What can we do to get him help that doesn't include more drugs? It is not fair that the way they deal with the trama that these men and women have gone through is just to focus on perscribing drugs (he is now on over 10 meds).
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Do research on this subject. The VA actually has a Center for PTSD website and the book that I recommended gives ways also that help. ( Courage After Fire-Armstrong/Best/Domenici). My husband has avoided the use of drugs this far but he is in intensive talk therapy. Good luck and we are here.
Dawn
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I am so glad that this site is out there! I am a wife of a former marine who served in Afghanistan during the late nineties. He just recently was diagnosed with PTSD. this has been a great site for the both of us. He thought he could deal with things on his own, but we both learned quickly that his issues ran very deep. If there is anyone else who has any advice it would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!
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I am so sorry to hear about your husband. PTSD is not easy to live with and requires adjustment but you can not do it alone. I am glad he knows that. With therapy it gets better as long as he is committed to making it work. There is hope!
Dawn
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hi, my husband is in the Army National Guard and is currently serving a second tour in Iraq. He already has had several issues after coming home from his first tour, all matching the known PTSD symptoms, though he was never diagnosed. He was only able to see his VA counselor once every 3-4 months for one hour each, where all that was "done" for him was several prescription drugs for depression, pain and sleeping aids.
Needless to say none have worked without receiving any "real" help and he never went back after about his 6th. appointment....
I am concerned about when he comes home after this tour and so i am here to try and get us plugged in and connected to some better resources and any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
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My husband stopped going to therapy the first time too. He ended up leaving here for 6 months and now has very little memory of his time away. He has more better days than worse days at this point but getting help is what brought him here to this place. Getting help is the key and you need to work with him to get someone that he is comfortable talking too and someone that he will talk too. Good luck to you when he gets back and if you need to talk about it we are here.
Dawn
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I am the wife of a Marine that served during the Gulf War, in Somalia & Bosnia.
Out of his experiences, he has severe PTSD, Anxiety disorder, seizure disorder, degenerative joint disease, etc. He has been medicated to the hilt by the VA as we feel just to keep his mouth shut. He has been in and out of Mental Health facilities and turned out with just more scripts that don't help. He was in the Bedford Ma VA for amost a month and was diagnosed by the doctor there that his PTSD was DEFINATELY military related, but still the VA denied him benefits.
It is horrible for my husband, who took his service in the Marines seriously and is proud of it, but it is so hard as a wife and mother to see him going downhill day by day.
We all try to understand as a family, but it is hard because sometimes he is a guy you don't even recognise. I have seen him act out his PTSD episodes (which is frightning).
I have been looking for other wives to talk to as all our friends have scattered - don'tknow if they are afraid of him, or just don't understand.
Anyways, that is our story.. God Bless our troops!
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Friends and Family have a hard time understanding because they haven't lived it. PTSD has been a family tradition in my dad's side of the family and I have a form of it myself so that helped my family embrace what we are going through. His family still does not understand and that is sad but I hold hope in my heart that they will some day.
Dawn
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Where was your husband in the war? Was he in Iraq? Your husband sounds alot like mine. I too think no one understands and is afraid of my husband. It is so hard to say not to be afraid when deep down I know that I sleep with one eye open because I never know if he will have a night terror and we will be under attack. He too is on more medication than I can say - this is the VA answer - and we too are fighting for his disability. My husband goes to work everyday with a lunch pail full of his medicine - not food. The VA thinks that since he is still married, still employed and still has a home that he must be functionable. Well - he goes to work everyday because he has to so we don't lose the house - pain is all over his face when he walks out the door - and as for still being married - I won't give up on the man that I made a commitment with for better or worse - sickness and in health. Why do they want to veterans to be in such a horrid state before they help them? The VA knows this is going on - We are living thru another Agent Orange cover-up. They waited until most of them had died before they offered help. I am afraid it will take that long again since the suicide rate and deaths from affects have been on the rise. Let me know how you are doing
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I am posting as a friend. I know that some vets have really gotten some good help for their insomnia from doing EFT. This is a kind of mixture of Chinese energy medicine and seems a bit like talk therapy, but it also involves tapping acupressure points while saying certain phrases. While EFT has been around for about 10 or 12 years, it is not well known, but it is gaining wider acceptance as results speak for themselves.
Currently there is a major study to prove the efficacy of Emotional Freedom Techniques being undertaken by several researchers and volunteer therapists at www.StressProject.org/multicitystudy.html . I know that it is a reputable study. It provides the opportunity for American IRAQ vets to receive 6 free sessions, once they agree to participation in the study and fullfill the criteria based on an entry questionaire. This page also has links to free or inexpensivre help from other therapists.
Once the sleep issue is dealt with, it is easier to cope with other things.
Mildred
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My son is currently serving in Iraq, and tells us that he has less than 60 days left in-country. I know that he won't be coming directly home but I am COUNTING DOWN! Anyway, my son is a Combat Medic, and I feel in my bones that he's seen some SERIOUS things that will haunt him in his days...when he was home on R&R/leave for 18 days this past July, he was fidgety...never sat still...and didn't hardly say anything...I know from being a Vet myself that coming home on leave doesn't mean that you will just go back to the same person that was home before you put on the uniform. So even though that hurt, I understood...after he leaves Iraq, he has 13 months left in service to fulfill his commitment. With all the news and the upcoming inaguration I am concerned that the Army may involuntarily extend him because of his MOS and send him to Afghanistan...I hope I'm wrong, but it's something that worries me. Being a Vet, I can say that it wouldn't be a surprise for the Army to do that but being a MOM it would really worry me...I guess I'm just thinking ahead of my son and trying to set things in motion ahead of time...my son has had some previous anger issues and was suggested to seek counseling but refused. I'm just worried that either way, he won't seek the help I know he'll need and return to some habits and 'friends' that will lead him in a direction that will lead to consequences he won't be able to handle...I'm glad I found this site and can have a place to talk to other family members/MOMS who have children who have served...sorry to be long-winded...
Jody
PROUD Mom of Chris, a Combat Medic
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I have a son who will turn 25 tomorrow. He survived 15 months in Iraq, and was to have completed the four years he signed up for, but was stop-lossed and sent back to Iraq again. In the 9th month of a 12-month tour he stepped on an IED. That was in September 2006. The IED was filled with rocks and debris, and a rock went through his eye socket and lodged in his brain. His forearms, hands, and face were also severely damaged. They removed half his skull before he ever left Iraq, and he miraculousy survived and has surpassed all expectations. He was in hospitals and therapy for his brain injury for two years, and was just recently retired from the Army. I worry about him now as there seems to be very little support for vets. At least in the hospital setting he was surrounded by others who knew what he'd been through and had experienced war as well. We don't live in a military town, and it's rough. It would be nice if the VA had some sort of program where they connected people like my son with others in the same boat. It would be so good for him to have a mentor of sorts, and in turn to be there for some other young man when he returns from war. I feel like counseling and connecting with others should be mandatory for these kids in order to receive their benefits because they're not liable to seek out help on their own, and may not even have the capacity to realize they need it. It's a really sad thing. He's always telling me I don't understand and I don't know, and he's absolutely right, I don't know, how could I? That's why there should be some way of connecting with others who DO know, some way that isn't left entirely up to the individual to seek out because so many simply won't, but unfortunately that doesn't mean their anguish doesn't exist.
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Cruise the web for local veterans organizations and for local Vet Centers. These are places where your son can find comrades in arms who are going through what he is going through. It is of tremendous help to vets to have other vets to talk to who share their experiences. More and more groups are forming to support our veterans all the time. Oh, another possible resource is your county government. Alot of counties now have a Veteran's Coordinators office. They are there for any and all kinds of information for vets and the resources that can help! Let me know if you don't have any luck finding what you need - I can probably help you find what you need (I used to do research work for a living and am married to a disabled vet). Been down this road and know the route. My email is imprintsjmm@gmail.com
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I'm a retired veteran of the US Army. My son has followed in my footsteps and is half way to his retirement. He just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq and I thank God he recently returned home safely. As you can imagine, I am very proud of my son and his service to our country. I also am very proud that America is behind our troops today, unlike the national sentiment during my service. I wanted to take this opportunity forum to thank each and every one of you that have family members that have served and who are currently serving. It is people like them that continue to make this country the best in the world.
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Like I said I am a second generation army man. I watched my dad go from a enlisted man to warrant officer. Then I watched him go to vietnam and come home a man i didn't recognize and didn't know . He was very distance and didn't want to get close to his family. His marriage lasted a whole six years and he during those six years he would go into rages and beat me with his garison belt. So when I got old enough to join up I did and i really did love the army. I like my father I went into aviation except i became a cobra mechanic and everything was fine. I threw myself into my helicopter and relaxing when I let myself. Could't understand why my dad did what he did. Then I met a pilot that was vietnam and he would open up once in awhile and tell me about what it was like over there. I begain to put two and two together and figured out that my father had all the signs of ptsd. Little did I know That it had been given to me until I had gotten put out because I had changed because of the crash of my helicopter, and lost two pilots. When it happened I ran out of the hanger to help them. But there was nothing I could do except to watch them burn in front of me. So I reinlisted and got sent to germany. where I got put out due to personality disorder. After about 5 years I tried to end my life.I ended up in the VA system and had the luck of running into a counslor who had me take a test, after a cou[le of secissons He informed me to the fact that I had ptsd. not only did I have it but i had it real bad. but the government wouldn't help me because I got it in "peace time". I feel bad for all those that are coming home to this disorder. But atleast they are getting some help. I am still fighting with this disoder on a daily basis. I hope that everyone who is affected by it. I would have retired from the service 12 years ago. I wish I could have retired instead of being put out. I wish you and your son many happy days together, really I do. Please get him the help he needs before he gets out of the service.because like you already know they are only going to help him while he is in. Please make them help him if he has issues now they won't later. I am not trying to say the service sucks, I still think the service is a great idea. It makes men.It is just that now I have to fight with myself every day to keep from becoming like my dad with my kids. Be there for him and help him my dad passed about 10 years ago. And I wish I could have helpped him and help myself. Thank-you atleast for listenning to me. God Bless you and your son.
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I just wanted to take time to say thank you so much for serving our Country. I understand your pain...I have an uncle that went through the same that your father did. War can really take a tall in your mind. You have to find something that bring you peace. Like a trip to the beach...listening to music and involving your mind in different things. I think that the human mind always bring us to depression, especially after such a terrible experience. You must take what is precious to you and hold on to it. Keep loving, keep surviving! That is the only way!!!! There are people that love you out there, don't push them away and let them love you.
Thanks...your are a true hero.
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I tried to make my dad feel that he could talk to me about the things he saw. but got pushed away. and it wasn't till I had my own experence with watching a friend burn in a helicopter, that I was responible for, burn up in front of me, that i began to understand what war, and "peacetime" are the same. And when I went to the V.A. for help and they said that it happened in "peacetime" and I didn't quitify for help from them. I thuoght of ending my life............. because I thought of what my dad went though that I understand a little of the hell , that he saw. And he never did, let me in. Now I have a family that I have to explain why there, are times when i am mad for no reason. I refuse to let my only son go into the service, forget it no one cares, and I am tired of fighting the government. They just want us to do the dirty work and shut up. I am trying to get help and they won't help me because i was in during "peacetime." Try telling my kids that when I push them away, making them feel that I don't love them. And hope the V.A. sleeps soundly during the time I spend not sleeping because I can't get that scene out of my mind. GOD BLESS our troops. And their loved ones.
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i use my motorcycle to get me away from the scenes in my bad times. I live in a isolated area and I am working on a paint job for the bike to remember not only my lost friends and my father but it will a tribute to all those who can not ride in this world.........but they ride next to me in my soul. and I have a 6 inch teddy bear named Bob that rides on my headlight. imagine that a big badass biker with a teddy bear. But I believe in my heart that all those who have passed might have rode and I ride for the ones that war has left them unable to ride. It frees me to remember them everytime I take the bike out for a ride and it doesn't matter if it's rainning or sunshine. Because some how, they are with me. I put around 10,000 miles on my bike every year. Bob and I have scene some nice sunsets and we have scene some hard rain. Bob and I have had 3 accidents, I have 5 vertabrate that are destroyed and 1 knee that I have to have in a brace, and I have suffered a brain injury. But as long as I ride I feel that I amI am doing what it takes to keep me from doing something stupid to myself and fail them. I believe that my higher power keeps me riding for some unknown reason.
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I'm really sorry for the time that you and your husband are having. I know that is very stressful for a wife and a husband after he returns from active duty...believe me I have been there too. I have been very lucky that my husband is doing well, although he had surgery from an injury that he suffered in Afghanistan. I know how it is when they try to denied you benefits. They also tried to denied benefits to my husband. He end up going up the hill and putting complaints to the top people. Also, you can contact the media...I am sure they can help you..they love shit like this.
Anyway, I will be praying for you and your husband. May the Lord help you both get through the hard times.
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Requiem for Baghdad
I brought home with me the casualties
The ones in me no one ever sees.
The leg, the arm, the parts galore,
Scattered around this place and more.
In a mind that's filled with hopeless fear,
Cringing when sudden noise is near.
No place, no feeling can erase this dread,
It's too far buried in my head.
The flash at night when sound asleep,
The startled cries while dry eyes weep.
Suddenly staring at darkened walls,
Listening for sounds down these safe halls.
Finally home from the desert of Iraq.
I'm home my sweet I'm finally back.
How can you know how can you cope?
We're dissolving; I know there is no hope.
Never there; you don't know the smell.
The anguished odor of death, it's hell.
The gurgling sound of life withering away.
Fire! Fire! Got him. He's mine. Just another day.
How can I hope, down this darkened street,
never a person in shadows we meet.
Decide in a second; A boy, a man, a girl, a foe?
An old man dies, carrying a bucket and a hoe.
The screech and whine of machines of war.
Crashing and slamming the guns all roar.
Killing to make peace; it seems a joke.
Looks like the world has gone up in smoke.
How can you know or ever cope?
This life we've made is a slippery slope,
Gone are the happy days of before.
Wracked with feelings down to the core.
Maybe there is help somewhere to be had.
But the truth my love, is I have to be sad.
The punishing and dirty things I've been thru,
Is something that should never burden you.
All those joyful Yo Hos sung,
Slithering around in all this dung.
The flashing guns in a quiet night,
Tracers Rip, a pretty sight?
Inside I rejoice in the rumbling discord.
Deep in my mind I have to find a word,
To satisfy me. Not you, not them.
I think the word is; Requiem
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to you myfriend I hear what you are saying.......... I too have scene a friend pass before my eyes. I still have nights when I awake too a nightmare so close I can still see it as it was right in front of me. My family doesn't understand what it is like........... to how that experence. Sometimes I wonder why did I get left behind. But keep moving and dodging the bullet my friend.....my comrade in arms. There is hope for us. That is why we were left , to remember their memory. I ride my iron horse to remember them.
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this can be said by any soldier who has served in a reaction company or unit. i serve in one that would be called to deploy in support company. i did rapid deployment for two years. we would be called out to deployed at a moments' notice, day or night. even got called back from leave to be deployed. in fact on one of these deployments, the hcobra i was in charge of (a crew chief) crashed and burned. i lost a pilot that i was very close to die and burned right in front of me. so to say that post tramanic stress disorder (ptsd) only happens in combat is bull. i still see him burning in my sleep nightmaresi guess you could say. i have just got back from a visit on the inpatent psyco ward because i wanted to die. this makes about the 10th time i have been on this ward and about the 100th time i wished i have thought of why me and why him. religous people would say, god only gives you what handle and no more. well god must think that i can handle a damn moutain. this time i only stayed for 3 weeks, because they needed the bed for someone who needed more than me. i have been doing this, for the past 25 years. and it took me 10 years too get the military to admit that i had ptsd. and they wouldn't have admitted it then if i hadn't come up with a article in a military magazine, that i happened to see in a vetearns ceter. and when confrnted with it, and made to get the military report about the crash out of 33 pages someone had blacked out all but the pilots' names and where it happened. so you tell me what they (the military) trys to hide on a daily basis. don't get me wrong i loved the army. and am glad to have served, the same as my dad who served 23years. but when he came back from vietnam. he was not the same dad that left . he was very distant, very cold, and very abusive to my mom and and us kids. and now they (my counselors) say where i started to get ptsd. i have 6 years of college behind me now. i used myself for all my psyhic classes. and have had instructors' tell me to get this person some help. also told me not to turn my back on this person. well i could go on but i will finish by telling all those of you if you have someone you care for, and they have been in the military over in irqa or afghanstein. please get them help early and be supportive for they probally need alot of help and understanding. i always check my e-mail atleast once a day so wrote to me. i will try to help all that want it. snake doc out
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I am opening up my ranch as a place that Veterans can come and seek solace and treatment for PTSD. I operate an equine rescue in Southeastern Idaho and have been i the building process for a couple of years to have this ranch open to as many Veterans as possible each year. I am still in the starting phase of the project, but have worked with a few Veterans and have seen miracles when they work with the horses. I cannot explain all the advantages the horses give those suffering from PTSD and other invisible war wounds here, but I can testify that it works. Your poem really puts things in perspective for those that have not been there and I would like to use it on my website. Take a look and tell me what you think. www.tranquilvalleysantuary.org
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I have too many vets to count in my life, but two in particular are very close to me. My father is currently still in the Army and works for SOCOM. He is a LT Col and has been in for 29 yrs. He has served in the Kuwait, Iraq, Afghanistan, and several other places I dont know about. My boyfriend is prior service Army. He was in 7 yrs and served in Iraq(2 times) and Afghanistan. He is currently undergoing in patient treatment for severe ptsd.
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my bf served in the air force in Iraq and Afghanistan and has had absolutely no success in getting any insurance from the VA, he just keeps getting the run around. Can someone please tell me how he can go about getting insurance. my e-mail is punkrawker8278@yahoo.com
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The VA tries but it is a huge and complex systems that I swear you need a pack of bloodhounds to find your way around. Try this - call the VA and ask for a guide to help your vet navigate the system. Most of the VA's have people who literally will guide you through the steps and walk you around the hospital. Also check out the VA Administrations website - there is lots of info there right down to the forms you need. It is a time consuming process but worth the hassle in the end.
You might also check for local veteran's groups in your area. Many counties now have a Veteran's Coordinator office who can help you find the information and the people who can help your vet. I know it seems like everytime you turn a corner you run into a wall but these resources can really help you navigate the system and get the help you need. It just takes alot of patience and tenacity! I know because my husband is a veteran and we have done this marathon. It is worth it, it just isn't simple. Email me if you want at imprintsjmm@gmail.com and I will help in whatever way I can - even if it is just someone to vent to who understands.
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I am new to this site and I am going through the struggle with my fiance`. He has had 2 tours to Iraq. We have a 5 year old son and have been a couple for 6 years. Before his first tour he was a totally different man. I could depend on him now I feel like I am his enemy. We have recently began counseling because he was diagnosed with PTSD and I begged him to get help. I know that he is trying but I am still hurting from the treatment I receive from him. He is so detached and uncaring. I am trying to be strong and handle things because I know that he is dealing with a lot. But I am also dealing with a lot. I was medically retired from the military due to kidney disease. After being discharged I moved to his hometown with him, which is 1000's of miles away from my family. He wanted to come home to be with his father because he was sick. Just two weeks ago his father passed and my fiance` was the one who found him. So now he has this to deal with. I want to be there for him but I feel like he pushes me away.
My question is who do I turn to for help to maintain my sanity and strength to help him? How do I go on. I feel like I am more emotionally unstable than he is.
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Have you received any support or guidance yet as a result of your post here? If not, please email me at raanderson08@q.com I will do my best to help you or anyone that has asked for help and hasn't rcvd. replies yet. Will do my best...
BeachBum2U
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Dear adj672 -
I am the wife of a 100% PTSD disabled vet - we've been married for 30 years. You are a victim of PTSD as well as your fiance. It is very stressful and hurtful to try and cope with his injury. Yes, he is wounded - it's just not visible but he's just as hurt as if he took a bullet. One thing that you can do for yourself is find a local Vet Center. They have counselors who work with PTSD and related issues who can help you too. They have lots of information about PTSD and its effects not only on the vet but on his/her family. It is easier to navigate than the VA and is in a smaller more 'user friendly' setting.
Hang in there - time, patience and treatment will help both of you. Kudos to you for loving him even through the tough times. I just found this site but I am planning to check it daily and always have a willing ear for questions or venting. Been there, done that, got the Tshirt and still got my vet and our love for each other. So feel free to post or to email me at imprintsjmm@gmail.com.
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Hello all. I'm new to this site... my name is Jayme and I have been married to my husband for almost 4 years now. Of those, he was in the Army for 2 1/2 years with one 12-month tour in Iraq as a combat infantryman. He had his share of experiences and came home with PTSD. He got an administrative discharge (no benefits) so that we could get out and get him the help he needed. That was two years ago and he's doing much better, but still haunted by the things he's experienced. I'm always looking for others who understand where I'm coming from, as a veteran's wife. I look forward to getting to know all of you better!
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Hi Jayme.
Just know that you are not alone. That in itself will help you. My husband also suffers from PTSD and I know the horror that you feel. I have been married to him for 23 years now. The husband that went to war never came home. Only a shell of the man. We have 3 children. One that is a product of the war. They wanted me to abort without any reasons so we refused. We found out later that we were one of the lucky ones - she only has heart and kidney conditions. Others gave birth to children missing limbs. The military's answer was to ALLOW her name to be put on the gulf register. Big deal. My husband got out of the military in 1992 needing only 8 more years to retire - we have had him seen by the VA since he got out but my daughters docter bills were all on us. It has been a struggle. Let me know how you are doing.
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Hello to everyone. I have read all of these 34 (today) posts and my heart goes out to all of you who have written. I am married to a currently Active Duty Reservist who was on active duty for four years. He went through a training accident where he broke his neck and saw his Senior Officer die, he was read his last rights in Panama for Insephilitis, tore his calf muscle in half during Special Forces qualification and served in Desert Storm as a Cav Scout. I met him shortly after he got out and I am seeing in retrospect that he most likely suffered from PTSD. He was a very angry, hostile guy for a long time.I believe that we were put together as a couple to heal one another, because I was broken in many other different ways. We are going to be celebrating our 12th anniversary in March and just celebrated our third child's second birthday last week. We went through some tough, tough times. But here we are. We are doing great now.
He decided after 9/11 that he wanted to serve again and has been in National Guard and is now, and has been for more than four years, a Reservist. He was a Drill Sgt. on the trail for two years right when the light began to be shed nationally on PTSD. And since his service then, he has been training, in some capacity, people who are going directly overseas. I am greatly concerned for the well being of our soldiers and their families, overseas and especially at home! We are currently in Jolon, CA on Fort Hunter-Liggett and I have organized what I call MARCH FOR VETERANS. Please read about it in my post in this forum. My vision is that we can raise awareness that all of us, civilian, military or otherwise, are concerned and want to see some real change soon. Please help and please consider the March. And to snake-doc: motorcycles and teddy bears are cool, too!
Sincerely and with much reverence for our men and women in service and their supportive networks
Betsy
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My son Ryan is 22 years old and on his second tour in Iraq. They found out that they are already scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan next year. Now I want to say something as a mom. I want my son back. I want the kid that use to laugh and love life back at home. When my son comes home, I am not sure of what he will do. We all need to keep in mind that the horrors these men and women have seen is something we will never comprehend. To be honest, I dont know if I could take knowing that the child I love, kills on command. This may sound horrible, but it is my honest feelings. Everyone says they are so proud, proud of what? Proud that my son is in a country where people live like animals and are content with it. Proud that we as americans sent our husbands and children to a war without an end. Was it for oil? What was it for? My son says he hates when people stop in a airport and say how proud they are. He says he is always kind, but he wonders what they are proud of. He wonders if the people that stop him are prior service. Our men and women are the forgotten ones, and they know it. We are so busy in our own lives that we dont realize in the next few years we will have hundreds of thousand of prior service walking around the streets of this country with severe emotional problems. If we think GI's are abusing their spouses in alarming numbers, I hate to think what the future will bring. Someone needs to pay attention to what we are doing to our american citizens.
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Hi Ryan's Mom - I want to say I understand somewhat of what you are feeling - you're scared, and I don't blame you. I don't think it really has anything to do with you not being able to take the child you love being able to kill on command. It's not really like that at all. My son just got out of the Marine Corps after 4 yrs in, 2 of them being back to back deployments to both Haditha and Fallujah. He is not the same boy that left me to join the Marine Corps and Yes - he has a pretty bad case of PTSD right now. He came home from Iraq but I almost lost him 2 months ago here at home because of his PTSD. Do I love him any less because he's not the same son I gave to the Marine Corps? Hell no! Can I accept the fact that he may have done some things over there that he would not do in every day life over here? Hell Yes!! Because if it comes right down to it and my son goes to combat and it's between someone else and him - he best be the one coming home!! Your son is not going to go through every day life and be on the verge of killing someone - but he joined the military in a time of war - a war we may or may not agree with and we don't even have to agree with - but we do have to support our troops - most especially when they are our sons/fathers/daughters/mothers, etc... So I can't tell you what to be proud of - I can't say I agree or disagree with the war. I can tell you that my own son saw a huge difference between his first deployment and 2nd deployment in country and if he felt good about the changes that were being made over there - that was enough for me. I am proud because he joined wanting to be there and wanting to make a difference - and he feels like he did. I would be proud of him regardless, for trying! My heart is broken - along with so many other Mothers (parents) because no - my son did not really come home! He struggles each and every day to survive in this civilian life - and I struggle each and every day to catch a glimpse of that boy I sent off to war! So like I said - I can somewhat relate to what you are saying but at the same time when you say you may sound horrible - I'm sorry but you do kind of. That is your son - you have to be able to take whatever he throws at you! You may not like it, you may not agree with it but you have to just grit your teeth and be there for him. Yes America is going to have a lot of Vets coming home with issues - hopefully the country is dealing with them and learning as they go - all you can do right now is concentrate on YOUR son - and share your experiences so that others may learn. I have learned in the last 6 months that getting help from the VA is NOT an easy process - I am here to share my experiences as a parent of a struggling Vet and learn from everyone else because I sure do need the help!
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Dear Ryan's Mom,
Only you can speak for how your son's service has effected your feelings. I would ask that you consider this, while I understand why you feel the way you do, I understand even greater why I have spent over 20 years supporting Veterans & Veteran's issues and being a Veteran Wife that will never stop being involved as I am. I hope you take this as it is meant.. speaking for myself, war is horrible both sides of the war is horrible, it's human suffering, loss of life, loss of life as it was known in the war torn countries, it is fear for our loved ones, it is nights awake with worry, it is a sadness in our hearts that some people may never know, thank God... but if we are not proud of the sacrifices made by our troops, and if we are not able to take a brief moment and step forward to tell our returning troops we are proud and we are grateful and if we are not willing to take time to support a grieving family of Our Fallen or visit our mamed and ill Troops in the hospitals as they recover and if we are not willing to step forward and make an effort to support thier families with any act of kindness and love... then we will have another 30+ years of suffering Veterans, the Vietnam Veterans with a new name. By now all Americans know the heartache and the humility suffered when the Vietnam War was over, now most Americans know of the suffering and loss of life that goes on daily from suicides caused by PTSD and the cancers and other illnesses and the broken hearts that still remember being spat on at the airports, it is sad to hear anyone openly shame any American for caring and for being grateful and for giving their hearts to a returning Troop or a Veteran of the wars in Iraq & Afghanistan so that they too will not suffer from life long rejection and denial until it's too late, as the Vietnam Veterans have had to do. Our VN Vets have promised to Leave No Veteran Behind and have committed to care for and support our current Veterans, you may want to embrace that so that when your son meets the day he needs to reach out, he will know who to call upon.
Bless your son and your family...
Very Proud & Very Grateful to your son & all that serve..
The Gratitude we give to your Son is Our Freedom, that is why we say thank you to him and all.
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My husband has served in the United States Military as a Canadian citizen for 10 years. He just recently left the National Guard when his term expired. He went to Kosovo when he was 18, and in 2003 he went to Iraq. He recieved a Purple Heart when he was hit with an RPG while on a recon mission. He was hit by 9 pieces of shrapnel, 7 of which remain in him. He is my hero, as are all of the other men and women that have and are still serving to this day. It makes me so proud to know that not only has my husband served this country, but it was not even his to have to serve. Some don't understand why I am so proud of him, but hopefully I have found a community that does. Thanks for taking the time to read, and I look forward to sharing with you all again!
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Wow, I can see why you are so proud of your husband, I am proud of him to and very very grateful to him. I am sad to know he took hits, how is he doing now? I will always be grateful, especially so that he served when he didnt' have to, that speaks volumes of the man he is! I thank him and I thank you, I have a little saying among our Veteran Wives & Supporters...
By the Side of and often 20 Steps ahead of Our Great Veterans,
is a Great Woman!
As wives, mothers, girfriends and all, we too served during Active then as Veterans! You know what I mean....
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Hello. Has a family member of yours served in Iraq or Afghanistan? Or have one of your friends served? Many of my friends and family members have served. And I am so proud of them! I hope to use this site to really understand how to communicate with them about their experiences.